Perfect Little Lies (wewereinfinite6) wrote,
Perfect Little Lies

I always could count on futures; that things would look up...

There's something about nursing homes. Something about the smell and the food trays and stow-away walkers that makes you wish that you never had to go back. And I don't want to go back. But I can't abandon my mother like that. Not like many of the other residents there have been abandoned. It broke my heart to come in contact with an old man desperately seeking Room 205 in his slowly moving wheel chair. His pursuit only ended when a nurse convinced him she would take him there but instead shut him inside of his own room. My mother's only friend there is an elderly amputee just trying to maneuver his prosthetics. Even her roommate can't stay awake for more than 10 minutes and hasn't had a visitor in all the time my mother has been there. My father and I try everything we can to make life normal from my mother. Everything from eating dinner with her in the common room to me modeling new dresses she wasn't well enough to help me buy. My mother has always been there for every school event, right down to the class presentations and kindergarten parties, so it's weird to think that she can't make it to my spring choir concert or my sister's college graduation. As much as I dislike being in my mother's presence sometimes, I still like to see a familiar face in the audience. But my mother isn't in my audience. She isn't home to nag me about cleaning my room or not putting the dishes into the dishwasher. My mother is in a nursing home. They say it is to make her legs stronger. They say she won't be there forever. They say everything will be normal again. I don't know if I should believe them or not.
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