Perfect Little Lies (wewereinfinite6) wrote,
Perfect Little Lies

Don't take my picture down...

Don't erase everything that we had...

I have never wanted to kill myself more than I do right now, but she says it will all pass. And I believe her because I love her and I trust her. And I will truly miss her more than I can even conceive right now. I want her to be better, to be happier, but it's hard not to be selfish knowing that things will never be the same again and she will not come back. We won't last. And the fact that I don't want to go to her house is more than just that it will make me sick, it is more so because I don't know if I can deal with being there, knowing it will be the last time things are truly normal. I just feel so bad abandoning her like that. And this week has to be the worst week possible for her to leave. With vacation here, she is leaving at the same time everyone else is. No one has stuck around but me and a few people who are too busy for me anyway. And I wish I could talk to him, because he is the only one who gets me right now, but he is gone and out of reach as well. And my family is downstairs, because with my sister home the three of them make a picture perfect group. I don't want to be here. She hasn't stopped yelling, saying she doesn't know why I am so on edge. You'd think that if she was a real mother she'd consider the fact that it may be hard to lose a best friend. I don't want to be alone like before. I want to be loved, and to be able to call him. To hear his voice. Because no matter how calming her voice is, I can't seem to listen to her without crying. At this point, I'm not sticking around for anyone but them. Because I've come to find this useless, and I don't think it's worth the pain.

Don't you forget about me...
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