I have never had a real best friend. Either I call someone my best friend but when they respond I'm just "A really good friend" or someone else calls me their best friend but it's retracted two days later when someone new rolls around. I broke the glass of a friendship today. Sitting on my desk, staring at me, mocking me. 13 years of lies and "You're my best friend....now I have to go hang out with her now". 13 years of sharing made up stories and never telling the truth. I just wanted to take that glass and make myself bleed. Flush every memory out of me because no matter what path I take, I always get hurt. I'm not friend material. I want to be like those girls in all of the teen fiction books. The ones that call each other at midnight when the other's boyfriend breaks up with them. The ones who care, who talk for hours on the phone about nothing, who fight for 2 seconds before they've made up, who get along. I want to be loved. What is so wrong with that?